Profile Featurette #4

Equinov

The Creme de la Creme of semester football. Equinov have won the title the most out of any team, winning 27 times since 1953. They consist of large brutal players who are as nimble as ballet dancers and just flexing their muscles causes glass to crack.

Formed when the University was young, Equinov had to wait forty years before their first title, which was a hard fought battle. Since then they have been the only perminent power in semester football. Mean McCleans came and went in the '70's and Equinov could not win a single title when the Means were around, but got back to their winning ways when the Means left for Europe. In the ninties The Challenge arrived from Asia to make a massive problem for Equinov. However, Equnov still managed to win the majority of tournaments. That is, until The Sam arrived. The Sam went straight to their winning ways and destroyed Equinov countless times. Fans of The Sam made up a song for Equinov it went "Franny boo killed the Equinov star".

The Sam wern't impenitrable though, and Equinov won a few games. The Challenge is still there as well. Equinov don't seem to be dwindelling, but their presence on the court is not as strong as it once was, many years ago.

Equinov have been engaging talks with The Sam reserves Brady and Matt. Although The Sam would not comment, it would be disasterous for The Sam if Equinov got their hands on these two rising stars. Especially with Park Seung leaving.

Equinov are the team to beat, but will it stay that way?

Profile Featurette #3

The Fatties

This team is a team that doesn't care about the odds against them, they'll still fight to the end. The fatties are one of The Sam's catchment teams.

The Sam chose FFF member Keith to lead the Fatties into battle, during the season, Sam, Tony and Charles also played for the Fatties. The fatties were expected to come last in their pool, yet they defeated the odds and came fourth. In their last game, substitutions were called from The Sam and the Fatties destroyed their opponents, coming in 15th place, exactly the same place as The Sam last year.

New members in the fatties included girls, because The Sam says that anyone can be good at soccer, in fact the girls were probably the best players on the team.

The Sam are still holding negotiations to decide whether the Fatties should still be an entity next semester. Also The Sam are wondering if they should promote some of the players to The Sam. Due to Park Seung leaving, The Sam are short of players.

This reporter hopes that the Fatties stay, but we'll see in the future.

Profile Featurette #2

Kelburn Park.
aka. Samford Bridge
aka. St Charles' Park
aka. The Theatre of Means

This field is the most important landmark for The Sam. Its brilliantly cut lawns and superb caretakers make it one hell of a pitch. But it has a long and interesting history, culminating to when The Sam first met...

In the fourteenth century, as Maori warriors were searching out the land for Moa, they came across a harbour. They were mildly interested in it, but their facination, was just to one side of the harbour. Up a steep hill, which they named 'a' or 'the' terrace, they came to a patch of land, which was as flat as could be, and had no trees growing on it. To the side there was a little white cottage. very soon, this plump little old man walked up to them from the cottage and said, "who the bloody hell are you-coming onto my park. The fields closed! I'll tell you what, get off, and i'll draw up some lines beside the field so you can play in it.

And so the Kelburn Park name was made famous. In the early 20's, New Zealand football was dominated by a team called 'The Martin'. This team was based at Kelburn Park. After four years of domination, strife in the team culminated in a huge battle at Kelburn Park. The reason for the battle was that a player called Dennis Smith or "DeSousa" decided the team should be called The Dennis because he was the best player and he called Martin 'Rubbish' The team faded into nothing because neither side won. In the 60's, Mean McClean's won three successive titles and went onto beat Lisbona-the team founded by Dennis. Frank Smith, son of Dennis and father of another annoying 'prodigy', decided that Kelburn Park should be back in Desousa hands. The two teams played each other for 48 hours non stop to decide who was going to keep the park. Simon Hornblow, an unknown relative from Charles' past, scored a whopper of a goal to ensure the park stayed in good hands. A memorial fountain was put up to remember that important day. And for 40 years nothing happened.

Bobby 'Crazy eyes' Bi'basso arrived in 1986. Kelburn Park was first used again in 2005. Sam met Charles at a class, and Nick and Keeth arrived minutes later to begin The Sam's era. The next week, The Sam had equired for times as many players including Tony, Arthur, Derek, Geoff, plus many more and including Chris Smith. Chris had been sent by his father to try again capture Kelburn Park. Chris always made a point to play at Kelburn rather than other field in order to play a battlle and capture it. Tony and Charles unfortunetely were sucked into his trap. They were lured by Arsenals attractive men so they played on Chris's side during the battles! The Sam has yet to forgive them for this. Fortunetely the non Arsenal supporters always won (obviously) so the park was kept. As a last resort, Chris decided to try and split the team. He started a war with Arthur. Most of the team immediately rushed with Arthur but there were worries that Tony and Charles would join Chris. But eventually Chris suffered a major defeat.

Kelburn Park has been very kind to The Sam. The Sam play around 80-90% of their game time at the park, yet only one injury has been made there. Also, because of the small distance to the university, students will take an hour of as a treat to go and watch The Sam, thus we have The Sam groopees. Long may the grass grow.