Player Profile #13

Zell
aka. Zellgado

"From the depths of Malaysia He came...He comes to us now...at the turn of the tide"

Zell, along with Loic, was The Sam's new recruit for Spring 2006. Not only has Zell proved himself worthy of his place in The Sam, he looks to be a dependable player for the future.

Zell grew up in southern Malaysia, living a lifestyle devoted to football. he was recognised as Malaysia's best chance of getting into the World Cup since he was 16 and became a well known name in Southern Asia, along with Winter and Duc. But his dream was to play in Italy, and for the Azzurri.

Zell played for Inter and AC Milan winning trophy after trophy, and becoming a big star. His dream was almonst complete when he almost allowed to play for Italy with weeks before his permenant residency came through. However, match-fixing scandels throughout Italy made Zell think again, and Zell went to the second-best footballing country, New Zealand.

He was offered a contract with Vietnamese Fantasy, but he refused, saying that the depth of the team was so big, that a spot on the bench would not suit him at all, as well as the team chemestry being low. The sam then scooped up Zell, trained him in their ways, and he is now a fully fledged member.

Zell is a cunning defender, and a tricky midfielder. When he has the ball, it is near impossible to confront him and come away with the ball. His keeper skills are not bad either.

Unlike the traditional The Sam members, BK is not Zell's staple diet, he prefers a nice wholesome roast Chicken dinner . He is, without a doubt, the fittest guy on the pitch.

When Zell joined, many said that he was the new Winter. He isn't. There will never be another Winter, and there never will be another Zell. Zell is Zell. And Zell is good. He brings a new style of play into the team. People say that keeping it traditional is better, but as Butterfly Boucher says:

"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!...Turn and face the Strain! Time may Change me, but you can't Change time!"

Coming Soon

Every Dream Has a Beginning: (own) GOAL! in cinema's this fall.

big time

geoffrey 'the' ng is back. movie is coming soon. shirts are coming soon... apparently

Profile Featurette #11

Bishop Viard College
aka. BVC
aka. Viard

Since The Sam has become a household name, Viard has become a school that parents have wanted their kids to be taught at. Icons such as Bum Joon, Sam McClean, Derek Wan and Steve Cubis all hail from its dark lonely corridors.

But it was not always such a highly regarded school.

In 1997 when Steve and Sam started, the toilets were cleaned once every two weeks, so after the first three days, students would have to find their own means of toilet paper. The desks that each student had dated back to the sixties, and the text books in most subjects had not only been used for decades, they had been given to the school second hand from one of the neighbouring schools.

The canteen was cruddy and so was the soccer. Nothing was good and it was made worse when students realised that the biggest mental hospital in New Zealand was just behind the school.

Sam and Steve struggled to come to grips with their situation Steve used computers to get away from it, and Sam used soccer. The soccer team had not one a game since 1992 (thats the truth), and played like idiots. Sam also worked in the school canteen.

But one day in April 2001, someone came who would change school life forever. Nick Kim. With his seemingly non-caring attitude saying stuff like "whats the point" or "its just inevitable" he brought the old system to its knees. Sam practices shots on the field with Joon, except Sam never shot and Nick never was keeper. Nick paid well over $500 in damaged windows.

Derek arrived as well, and for some reason he never went to class. He would be seen just wandering around school doing nothing during class time.

At the sixth form formal, Nick was late to the formal suit shop so he had to wear casual clothes. He would also point out to the english class, very strange things. for example, once he said loudly in a casual intellegent voice that "fionas wearing pink underwear". Yet, to be truthful, he had only been in New Zealand two years, and he came first in English out of the whole class in bursary. Nick became known for his massive long range shots when he played left wing for the 1st XI, and he became widely known for his dribbling skill and lack of passing.

Yeah, school was tough for our heroes. For them, Viard was a chore, something they were forced into, they didn't choose it, but BVC forged their destiny.

Player Profile #12

Loic Tchoukriel-Thebaud

aka Frenchie
aka Gary Neville

Nationality: France, Turkey, England
Club: The Sam FC, Lyon, Man Utd

'The teamwork of The Sam FC is dazzling. Abo with the ball now. Abo, onto Chaz. Chaz puts a through ball for Gary Neville. Gary Neville? Huh?
......
.......
......oh its just Loic.'

A free transfer from Lyon, The Sam FC quickly snapped up Loic who had attracted the likes of Chelsea, Real Madrid and Newcastle. His purchase marked a new beginning for The Sam who are in need of a replacement for the departing Bum Joon Kim.

The Gary Neville clone was brought up in middle class Lyon and played football for a local club team before he moved to Olympique Lyonnais where he helped them win the league 4 times. However a bustup with team mate Cris saw Loic leave the French club and France completely.

His first instinct was to go to England to play for Man Utd, but they already had Gary Neville so he decided to join the next best thing - The Sam FC. His arrival saw The Sam FC win 3 games in a row, and Loic scoring a hat-trick on the final day of The Indoor Soccer League. Since then he has commited to The Sam, signing a new contract and declaring himself available for Joga Tonito, the Twilight Soccer team equivalent of The Sam FC.

Loic is a central or right-sided midfielder, who plays similarly to David Beckham (who ironically is best friends with Gary Neville). He has brilliant passing ability, which makes up for his lack of pace, and an eye for goal. The Frenchman is also the most elegant footballer in The Sam FC; his technique and movement are distinct European attributes.

With only a few games under his belt, Loic is hardly a The Sam star, however he has shown great potential and should be watched more in the future - as opposed to Gary Neville.

Profile Featurette #10

The Man
aka. Rec Centre Guy.

The Man is a man many would call a hero. he alone created the indoor soccer league, whic the best teams in the world curently play.

He has seen teams the likes of the Mean McCleans, The Arrogance, The Challenge, Equinov, Vietnamese Fantasy, Iraq, and of course, The Sam, come through his doors on their way to stardom.

He started the competition way back in 1911, when the groundskeeper of Kelburn Park refused to let the teams onto the pitch because of spectulation of ball hampering.

So The Man opened the gym to the teams and created a new league. 'Mathew & Son' won it the first 7 years, and back then, they only had a five minute break for a cup of cold coffee and a piece of cake.

Then the original Team Africa came in the 1930's, and their striker JJ bacame the top scorer ever.

Competition was halted during the war years, but resumed with the coming of Mean McCleans.

The Man has had his problems too. He was directly involved in an incident with Mean McCleans when a player did a diving tackle, resulting in one of The Arrogance players pulling his hair.

He also had to deal with the scandels of mid 2006 with The Challenge and Equinov. Eqinov's match-fixing apparantly meant that they were paying The Man to let them win. And The Challenge were illegally trying to buy up and coming Vietnamese Fantasy's players as they were all getting too old.

The Man is still theman of the rec however, and his job is an envyable one. The Sam salutes The Man.

Player Profile #11

DAVE

aka Dave Abricossow
aka Dave Abo
aka Dave Abbondanzieri
aka Midfield Maestro

Nationality: New Zealand/Argentina/Thorndon/Te Puke

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, The Rebel Alliance fought an epic battle against the evil Republic, in what was commonly known as The Star Wars. The Rebel Alliance had a light sabre-wielding hero called Luke Skywalker who led them to many victories.

In a parallel universe, The Sam FC fought an epic battle against some indoor soccer teams in The Victoria Indoor Soccer League. They had a cricket bat-wielding hero called Dave Abo who led them to many wins.

Dave Abo was one of the more recent additions to The Sam FC having joined them in mid 2006 from New World Thorndon United. His capture ended a very long drawn out transfer in which negotiations between the clubs were slow and seemingly endless.
Dave Abo was originally on loan from NWT Utd and appeared for The Sam in Summer Soccer but acquiring him permanently took a lot of time.

However he has turned out to be one of The Sams best pieces of business.

Dave Abo is the engine room of The Sam FC, dictating the pace of the game from the centre of the court with his unmatchable passing and vision. His presence gives The Sam confidence and that has shown in recent statistics showing The Sam's victories coinciding with Daves presence.
He has aggression and strength making him a superb defender, and is a player who always plays with 120%. He has no equals in The Sam FC, not even TheSam who described Abo as 'Pele from The Bay'

The midfield marshall also has an eye for goal and is leading goal-scorer for The Sam this year.

Such is Dave Abos influence that The Sam FC have extended his contract while he is also favourite to win The Sam Player of The Year.

Dave Abo is also a keen cricket player who in his spare time likes long walks on the beach, braiding his hair and bagging groceries.

Profile Featurette #9.

The Seung Song.

The Seung song is probably the most famous song in The Sam. It is strange to say this because 'Mathew and Son' is officially The Sam's song. However, weve put up the lyrics. Hope you like it.

The Sam
Seung Song

This thing right here
Is lettin all the ladies know
What this guy’s all about
You know
The finer things in life
Hahaha
Check it out

Ooh dat cross so scandalous
And ya know another nigga couldn't handle it
See ya shootin that thang like who's da ish
With a look in ya eye so devilish

Uh
ya like to dance at all the hip hop spots
And ya cruise to the crews like connect da dots
At japanese bar he likes to stop
Cuz he was livin la vida loca

BRIDGE
he had jumps like a truck truck truck
He’s like what what? What?
He likes to try his Luck Luck Luck
Uh
I think to sing it again
he had jumps like a truck truck truck
He’s like what what? What?
All game long
Let me sing that seung song

CHORUS
I like it when the beat goes da na da na
He can make his volley go da na da na
Man I know you wanna sing da na da na
That seung th seung seung song
I like it when the beat goes da na da na
He can really show off now da na da na
Man I know you wanna sing da na da na
That seung th seung seung song

That goal’s so scandalous
And I know another nigga couldn't handle it
See ya shootin that thang like who's da ish
With a look in his eye so devilish
Uh
he like to dance at all the hip hop spots
And he cruise to the crews like connect da dots
And yellow balloons he likes to pop
Cuz he was livin la vida loca

CHORUS (3x)

Whoa
Uh
alright
Uh whoa yeah
Ooh
Whoa
(Like it when the beat goes da na da na)
(He can play around now da na da na)
(yo I know you wanna sing da na da na)
Baby
(That seung th seung seung song)
(I like it when the beat goes da na da na)
(Show me what you can do da na da na)
(Girl I know you wanna sing da na da na)
(That seung th seung seung song)

.......to fade